He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
