i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
