u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
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