There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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