i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
