It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
