Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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