Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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