You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
