super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
