Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
