I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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