My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
