Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
