Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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