Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize