No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
