So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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