how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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