Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
