Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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