I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
