Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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