Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
