Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
