So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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