You really coming over, don't trick.
she woke up with a sticky ear
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
