haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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