i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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