there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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