Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
