dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
