CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
