Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
