even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Randomize
