U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
