I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
