Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
