we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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