Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
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