i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
In America we eat man semen.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
