totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
