Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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