you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
