I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
