He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
