Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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