Im at strip club and am horny
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
