Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Randomize
