I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
