all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Why are your pants in the freezer?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize