do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
