can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
