I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
