This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
