Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize