I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
