We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i came on her dog
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize