She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
