I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
How does it feel to date your dad?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
