Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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