____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
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