All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
look no pants
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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